"As If!" 311 Greenwich #6G - $825,000 - 650 sq ft

We debated whether this cute little apartment in one of the only Tribeca buildings that has listings for under $1MM is really the overpriced apartment of the week, but at $1,269 per sq ft, we just can't imagine such a price even in a renovated unit.

Both the Streeteasy ad and the floorplan loudly proclaim this apartment as a "Miracle on Greenwich Street!", although the only thing that we find miraculous here is that some new floors and a renovated kitchen would actually spur anyone to pay $825k for what is essentially a tiny apartment without a W/D in the unit and a "cute" balcony that is good for nothing growing herbs.

Although the renovations in this super small apartment are very nice and we like the location, we can't get over the unbelievable price tag given that a larger unit in the same building with a real balcony and in need of only new floors and some kitchen cabinets failed to sell at an ask of $775,000 and is now no longer on the market.

#6G sold in 2004 for $640,000, which we think is actually quite a reasonable price now, given the relatively low maintenance and pint-sized square footage. Add in the fact that absolutely nothing has sold in this building since September, 2008 and we're pretty sure that there are some sellers with high expectations here.

21 South End Avenue, #227 - $899,000 - 1,050 sq ft

We have to admit that we have never liked the "yacht club" feel of 21 South End Avenue, with the odd wood and blue trim everywhere (including the hallways and the interior of many apartments). The listing for #227 looked really promising however on Streeteasy and as we are HUGE suckers for outdoor space, we were very much looking forward to seeing the enormous balcony/patio, which we thought looked kind of serene in the pictures with Hudson River views.

In reality, this unit is kind of hit or miss. On the "hit" side, we love the real staircase which compares quite favorably to the 1BR with a ladder that we saw two weeks ago in the East Village and the 1BR with a 6 inch chute spiral staircase that we saw around the same time. Additionally, the outdoor space in this unit is quite large (as advertised) and the upstairs bedroom floor fills the entire space so there is no "down to below" hole in this apartment unlike many other duplexes that we've seen.

On the "miss" side, the outdoor space basically looks on to the building across the street and not the Hudson River, which certainly makes it less serene. Also the kitchen is quite small and awkwardly laid out in a nook next to the living room. Everything in the apartment also looks quite dated (we can't tell if it's the yacht club color scheme or something else) and the maintenance/taxes are bordering on unmanageable at almost $2500 per month for essentially 850 sq ft or so of indoor space. Another uh uh for us in BPC - perhaps we should go back to our Battery Park CILF.

311 Greenwich Street, #7I - $775,000 (Just Reduced) - 730 sq, ft.

When we first saw this apartment (listed back then at $799,000), the first word that came to mind was "airy". The layout is quite nice, with the living room and bedroom both containing a bright wall of windows. There is a long (although not exactly wide) balcony that can be accessed from both the bedroom and the living room. The cutout kitchen also has a window (to the outside) which is a cute touch that we happen to be suckers for.

Although the apartment needs major refinishing - we're talking paint, floors (is that old parquet?), kitchen appliances, and even the closet doors (a few of which have jagged edged "half" plastic knobs), it is a much better value than the treehouse next door.

The carrying costs (at around $1100 per month) aren't terrible, although the building isn't exactly amenity-filled. There is no W/D in the unit but there is definitely room for one. We still love this location and heck this apartment, especially with the mild price reduction (not enough in our opinion though), is definitely worth a look.

303 Greenwich Street #3A - $850,000 - 700 sq. ft.

Say what? When we walked into this apartment, we couldn't believe the price. Similar to
our experience at 71 Nassau, this apartment felt smaller than the (already too small for this price range) list of 700 square feet.

But we digress...the real issue with this apartment is that every exposed surface is covered with a dark wood. The place smells like a wood shop, has no W/D (no room for one anywhere either in the cramped layout) and is very, very dark (not sure if it's the wood that makes it appear that way).

On the bright side, we are in love with the apartment's prime location at Greenwich and Chambers but wouldn't even think about paying the (we think) $200k premium to live on this block. You can get the exact same apartment plus an extra 100 sq ft. in a prime East Village location for about $150k less.

280 Rector Place #7F - $775,000 - 915 sq. ft.

This is a real 2BR 2BA (although it does have somewhat of an awkward layout) and as we mentioned in a prior post, we still think it's really difficult to make 900 sq ft into a 2BR.

With that said, this apartment has good "bones" (a creepy expression, but it gets the job done). The small living room has quite a pretty (small) window that has direct Hudson River views. Both the kitchen (especially the kitchen) and the bathroom need updating.

This apartment is one of those that doesn't "show well". There are stains on the walls, the floors are a mess, and the ceiling looks like it has some kind of water damage. We think renters live here and may not have been giving this place the love that it deserves.

Although $775k is a decent price in this location, the apartment's condition, tiny living room and high carrying costs (welcome to Battery Park) of over $2100 per month make this unit a big fat uh uh.

71 Nassau Street #7D - $895,000 - 830 sq. ft.

We like to believe in the best of listings, but this apartment felt way less than 830 square feet to us. Closer to 750 or less. The apartment is renovated and attractive - with beautiful blonde wood floors and a great kitchen. The view from the living room isn't terrible - a mix of buildings and beyond. Good closet space etc. but overall, the unit felt awfully small.

The iron beam in the living room is certainly distinctive and we definitely appreciated the presence of a W/D. I would look for this unit to decrease in price dramatically over the next few months as it is quite small and the particular block on Nassau is a smokeshop/diner/New York & Company extravaganza.

77 East 12th Street, #9J - $749,000 - 800 sq. ft

A smoker lives here. A bigtime smoker - maybe a pack a day IN THE APARTMENT smoker. Over here at downtowny, we have nothing against the occasional Marlboro, but we haven't seen anything like this since empty bars pre-smoking ban.

At least the realtor didn't pull the "what smoke smell?" line that we love to hear so much from seller's agents. Instead, the good folks at Halstead admitted that the apartment belongs to a smoker and directed us to the bright (wide-open) windows in the living room instead. Too bad I couldn't hear the sales pitch over the "fresh air" fan. If you're looking for your scented candle from 1997, try this apartment - I think Halstead has them all.