Quick Hit: Funny Google Search of the Week

We don't know if we'll keep posting these (guess it depends on the content that we get) but occasionally we get some truly funny Google searches that result in people visiting Downtowny.

This week's funniest:

"What does it mean when someone calls you a truffle?"

We truly have no idea, but we're pretty sure that they're not trying to say that you are a pajama-clad supermodel hanging out in some rental residents' lounge, as per the Truffles Tribeca shot above.

We Are Tickled Pink that Someone Besides Our Relatives is Reading These Reviews: A Reader Responds to our Thoughts on Truffles Tribeca

Like OMG, we received a beautifully written response by a charming reader today (let's call you...Chace) who likes to think of us as "Brittney" (kewl) and has his own thoughts on the addictively weird Truffles Tribeca, which we visited and reviewed a few weeks ago. Chace is a Truffles Tribeca resident who probably just can't wait to start alternating between Turks and Frogs and the bar at the Dylan Prime and (just a guess here) enjoys Dave Matthews Band concerts, South American wine, and thinks that Panko bread crumbs are so 2006. Because Chace's comment was so well-written, we've decided to post it in it's entirety. Please see our additional thoughts in bold. Chace writes:
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"Just for a little balance here, I thought I would comment on your post, Brittney. (I’ll call you Brittney because that's sort of how I think of you) (Yeah, us too sometimes - we're kind of brunette though and gave up the short skirts in the 90s).
I moved to Truffles Tribeca over a month ago (sweeeeet) so I might have a better feel for the place than you do although you seem to come by quite often, including night time visits! (Might want to work on the root of your strange fixation with the building, Brittney!) (We're telling you, it's the mannequins)
Yes, parts of the place are still under construction so you do walk through a temporary “ugly” path to access the lobby. Sorry if the retaining walls were not up to your standards but really, since when do construction sites need to be pretty? From my standpoint, it is a small (huge) price to pay for being able to live in a brand new apartment. Remember, we did not buy, we are renting!
Not sure what unit you visited, but one of the cool things about the building is that they are many different lay-outs. I looked at over 10 different units before opting for my one bedroom. On a higher floor, mine does have a foyer, an island in the kitchen and a huge walk-in closet in the large bedroom. In addition to a large closet in the foyer area. (We bet you are paying through the nose for this, do tell) Now you are right, the living room is not huge but if you know of any comparable rentals in the neighborhood that offer the same views, the same amenities plus a massive living room, do move in right away! (There are none. Tribeca is famously bereft of affordable new construction rental buildings, hence the popularity (even if you exclude the mannequins) of the ol' Truffster)
The building does face West Street. That’s actually how I can wake up in the morning with the most amazing views on the (super tiny from over there)Statue of Liberty and enjoy amazing sunsets through my living room bay windows! That’s the point! If it wasn’t on West St, I would face… well buildings, duh! (totally)
A 5 mn walk to the Canal St subway stop doesn’t seem so unmanageable for me. And the neighborhood is so enjoyable that on mornings when I just want to take my time, I walk the extra 5 minutes to the Franklin station.
The lounge IS quite impressive (but would you pay $850 for it?). Certainly the nicest I’ve seen in any NY rentals. And it is pretty cool to be able to book the private movie theatre to watch live TV or a DVD with your friends. Imagine Brittney, a private screening of “Real housewives of New Jersey” or “The Biggest loser” (actually, we're more Top Chef and Gossip Girl but whatevs) just for you and you best girlfriends!
I could go on about the awesome gym and yoga studio, the roof terrace with showers, bbq and private cabanas just about ready to open (do send pics) , the amazingly friendly and helpful staff but I might actually convince you to give the building another try, when really, Truffles and you weren’t meant to be, Brittney. C’mon, don’t be bitter and just let it go, it’s gonna be ok!

Best,
A (very happy) Truffles resident

PS: the first tagline was a quote by Edward Albee but obviousely, that was lost on you Brittney…"(Edward Albee: cool; "You Gotta Have Swine to Show You Where the Truffles Are" as an ad campaign: not cool).
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Truffles Tribeca (Blogger Review)

Oh we just couldn't help ourselves from stopping by this uber-weirdly marketed all rental new construction building on the West Side Highway in Tribeca. In case you haven't been in a cab in this area in awhile, Truffles Tribeca is the boxy slate gray building (thanks to Curbed for the pic) with the intensely creepy mannequins (sometimes dressed in tuxes, sometimes wearing nothing but scarves) hanging out on some of the upstairs balconies and downstairs terraces.

Although the current slogan "Repent...and Rent" is a serious upgrade from the previous "You Have to Have Swine to Show You Where the Truffles Are" (I mean seriously, what?), the building itself is far from upgraded, with a truly surprising level of on-going construction activity and almost nothing to show for it except the Sherlock Holmes-esque den "exclusive club" known as Trufflesprive (didn't we stop adding "prive" on to the end of shit in like 2007?).

When we popped by on a Sunday to check out some rental apartments, we walked over an astroturf construction zone (complete with retaining walls and an ugly path) to the doorman-manned front door. The lobby is small and unimpressive although the doorman was nice to us while we waited for our rental agent, whom I will call Gonzalo (because that's sort of how I think of him) whose real name I learned and forgot in 30 seconds while being distracted by his perfectly fitted pants and pointy gangster shoes. Gonzalo did not ask our price range (weird) but did manage to figure out that we were interested in a 1BR. He took us to the "model unit" (which is not surprising given that the entire building is still basically under construction).

The "model" 1BR is anything but. At a tiny 615 sq ft (what?) with a boring bathroom, an impossibly small living room, exactly one coat-size closet in the bedroom and a second (smaller) closet in the living room, we immediately asked how much the asking price was for a unit of this size. Gonzalo (leaning on the granite countertops in the 45 John-like kitchen, which was basically a wall of appliances in the entryway, no island) very calmly said $3015. "Do we look stupid?" we wanted to blurt out, but instead said "really? interesting" as we squeezed over to the living room window to take a look at the view (buildings, duh).

After we saw the model 1BR, Gonzalo showed us Trufflesprive ha ha ha ha. This "exclusive club" is really just a residents' lounge with some leather saddles, backgammon and a WII. There is a bar, which supposedly has a bartender (although we've walked by at night several times and never seen anyone in there) but you bring the booze and put it into your own cute little clubby locker. There is also a cheap juice machine (which you can use for breakfast in the morning) and the requisite stylish hipsters scattered around the rambling space. Oh, and normally there is an annual membership fee for Trufflesprive of $850 (come on) although the building will "waive it" for the first year.

Gonzalo claimed that Truffles Tribeca is 73% rented (whatevs) and that despite being a total construction zone with only about 4 windows lit up at night (seriously, drive by there), only one line of units is still to be built (whatevs). Even though this building is located in a great area of Tribeca, across the street from the charming "everything souffle, oui oui" Capsuoto Freres, Truffles Tribeca is basically on the West Side Highway, far from the subway, and seems to be attracting a well-heeled youthful clientele that we surmise primarily works for the US government at Citi, which is located just down the street. Additionally, we were surprised that Gonzalo would not negotiate with us on rent (huh?) but perhaps we were not swine enough for his tastes (oui, oui).