50 Franklin Street

After procrastinating for at least two months, we finally made it out to 50 Franklin, the brand spanking new Civic Center Tribeca building brought to you by the architects that also designed the Thompson LES Hotel. You can see this clean gray and blue building with balconies from several blocks away on Franklin as you walk up one of Tribeca's grittier streets, littered with old loft buildings, bodegas and a "closed on the weekends" deli on the corner. Walk a couple of blocks west however, and you start to hit a decent area of Tribeca (well, if you fancy the overpriced Centrico or the bachelor-party infested Churrascaria). Overall though, this building's location is MUCH better than many rants say ("it's not Tribeca because it's east of Broadway blah blah blah"). So is this building in Tribeca? Nope. But it's close enough in our opinion.

We do have to mention however, that the building's one main tie to Tribeca (the coveted zoning for the uber coveted PS 234) no longer exists according to the broker. This building is zoned for "another school" whose number "escaped" the broker when we asked.

At any rate, we began our journey at this 72 unit building in the creepy sales office across the street. Even though there was a huge sign that said "50 Franklin Sales Office" hanging over the door, we couldn't believe that anyone was running an operation out of what looked like a 6-story 1850s brownstone (and not the kind where Blair Waldorf hangs out) with an old creeky elevator and a buzzer outside the door. Anywho, once we got to the sales office (which was medium full on a Sunday - maybe 3 groups there) the agent handed us some hardhats (cute touch, I think mine said "Lily") and told us that 50 Franklin is 15-20% sold. It's a low enough number to actually be believable, however the agent's claim that they are "selling fast" and that reaching 50% sold will be "no problem at all" had us accidentally spitting up our Diet Coke (good thing we were already on our way to the condos across the street).

Once in 50 Franklin, which is mostly complete with the exception of the roof deck (ummm...we seriously cannot even imagine how they are going to turn that tiny A/C unit covered space into the grand lounge area pictured in the brochure) we ran through several 1BRs and a couple of 2BRs. Probably the most interesting thing about this building is that despite the myriad of brochure photos with happy models looking at the Empire State Building and expansive views of Manhattan, only the Penthouse units (gosh, where have we seen that trick before?) actually have a view of anything other than the office building across the street (north) or the even worse (we couldn't believe it) gross graffiti covered neighboring building (south). Of course, if you stand on your 42 sq ft balcony (which most units have) and turn your head to the left, you can see a small sliver of that Civic Center park whose name we can never remember.

The units themselves are fairly well laid-out and not obnoxiously (not reasonably either) priced. 1BRs float mostly around the $800,000 range which does not include the sponsor's offer of 5% cash back at closing. The 2BRs are all around $1.2 million, although we did see a unit under $1 million that unfortunately had a tiny second bedroom and a view of the aforementioned graffiti-covered building.

Inside, the apartments have very bright finishes - light wood floors and white countertops, which we personally don't like but lots of people do. The floor-to-ceiling windows are quite nice (except for the aforementioned view issue) as are the stackable washers and dryers in each unit. The 1BR units mostly have a deep soaking tub/shower combo (we've always loathed loved the idea of climbing into these) while the 2BRs have separate showers and tubs. Another interesting feature of this building is that each unit comes with it's own HVAC system in a closet - so you can literally open one of your interior doors and see it.

Overall, we thought the maintenance in this 421-a tax abated building was still a tad high (at $1.30 per sq ft) given that there are few amenities (although there is a doorman).

We're taking a pass on this building (at least for now) however it's not a bad deal if you'd like to be near Tribeca and don't have an issue with dark building views.

65 Nassau St, #10B - $760,000 - 950 sq ft

It feels like forever since we actually posted about a visit to a listing (is that Cyndi Lauper humming 'Time after Time' in the background?) so we decided to actually write a new review, following this reader exchange:

Reader: How come you don't post reviews of listings anymore?
Downtowny: We are lazy as sh*t. There just isn't enough time with all of the great deals out there!

The un lucky apartment is 65 Nassau, #10B a studio makeshift two bedroom (yep, you've heard this one before) in a co-op building on Nassau and John in the Financial District.

Take a look at the picture of the apartment above. Can you actually make anything out amidst the clutter of French mansion furniture, chandeliers, ginormous dining room table and awkward partition? We couldn't either. Even while standing in this unit, it's difficult to figure out exactly what you are looking at in this strange, yet oddly appealing space, due to just the amazing volume of stuff in there combined with some extensive partitioning.

If you can get past the decor, what you basically have is a pretty cool corner loft, with nice large windows, good light and attractive city views. The "bedrooms" are actually both the result of clever partitioning. The master bedroom doesn't have a door (basically, it has two real walls, a closet and then shares a wall with the living room partition), but it feels substantial and removed from the rest of the apartment, has closets and is a decent size. The second "bedroom" is a bit of a joke - basically, the divas people who live here have partitioned the living room in half, building an awkward set of translucent sliding doors right in the middle of the living area, creating a second seating area. Why do you need two whole seating areas in 950 sq ft of space? We don't know either.

A tiny, but well renovated kitchen, one and a half baths (although the half bath is uncomfortably tiled and has a weird circular shower) plus a pretty high maintenance of $1951, complete the rather confusing picture at this apartment that has been on the market for around four months.

The sellers bought this place for $740,000 in July of 2006 and listed it originally at $865,000 just three short months ago in February. At the current listing price of $765,000, this apartment is not even close to priced at our 2003 target, but heading in the right direction.

NYT Mint Condition, Low Miles Condo at 15 Broad St Sold for Way Too Much

Teri wrote a great, insightful article this week about what really matters to buyers - space and low maintenance duh, and not hotel amenity features like libraries and pet spas (sorry Fluffy).

The one thing that really surprised us in this article however, was that Mathieu and Monica Schepard and their adorable little girl actually purchased an 856 sq ft studio loft at 15 Broad for $692,000 and plan on converting the thing to a 2BR (ugh!). Although we have not seen the unit that they purchased, we believe that we saw an identical unit, in this case #928, which (although mildly camouflaged in Streeteasy) has the same square footage as the unit that the Schepard's purchased and is priced similarly to the original asking price for the Schepard's unit of $799,000. #928, which we saw just a couple of weeks ago, has all of the well-documented problems of many new construction lofts in FiDi (one long room with one set of windows, making partitioning particularly challenging, views of a neighboring office building etc.). It is because of problems such as these that we believe that #928 sold for a fairly reasonable $595,000 in May of 2007. Assuming the Schepard's bought a similar unit for $692,000, that cute family is about to pay a 16% premium to the 2007 sales price. What the heck?

248 East 7th Street, #17-18 - $575,000 - 800 sq ft

The ultimate fixer-upper, this quite charming 2BR with a low $600 per month maintenance located in the ghetto fringe on 7th between Avenue C & D, is described by Corcoran as having "good bones". Creepiness aside, we enjoyed contemplating the possibilities in this crumbling apartment, which features beautiful exposed brick walls and has a rare 4 exposures with windows on all sides of the apartment.

Almost needless to say, the kitchen is a disaster (we're sure there were appliances in there, but it's hard to remember them when looking at cabinets from 1958) and the bathroom similarly needs a full overhaul. We also don't like the idea of renovating a 4th floor walk-up (is Corcoran throwing in a chiropractor?) although we do think the apartment has tons of potential. You also get what you pay for in maintenance with this super old building that reminds us of a Columbia dorm, but I guess you can't have it all.

Overall this apartment is cute and we're not really surprised that it went into contract today, although we will of course keep an eye on that final sales price.

CILF of the Week - 15 William St (The William Beaver House)

The Beave as a CILF? Oh, the irony...

We sure had quite a hard time deciding to name this comically undersold development in FiDi as this week's CILF. In addition to all of the press that this Andre Balazs pet project (no pun intended) gets for not being able to sell any darn units, we love reading the oh so snarky coverage of it's black and yellow exterior (we're pretty sure that you can see the Beave from space) as well as the uber sexualized marketing campaign targeted at wealthy wish they were oversexed Wall Streeters.

In reality, when we popped by the Beave today, we saw a truly empty building (yes, all of the rumors are true, as far as we can tell absolutely nobody lives here) even though the sales agent claims that they are 55% sold (whatevs). The common areas were like some kind of weird and empty ghost relics - sort of like discovering a fully intact Titanic underwater. The gym is beautiful, the pool looks good (and full), the roof deck however is not complete (will be done by end of May they tell us - we report, you decide), and the theater is just an under construction room. The outdoor basketball/handball court is huge but also not looking like it's going to be finished anytime soon. We were additionally sad to learn that Balazs has abandoned plans to give the over-the-lobby jacuzzi a glass floor, although we are happy to report that there is a jacuzzi and it does appear to be functional. Plans for the first floor library and restaurant (although depicted in the cool 3-D renderings in the sales office) appear to be on permanent vacation, but that's fine with us, as this building needs to really focus on completing the amenities that have at least been started.

So given the emptiness and the unfinished common areas, why make this a CILF you might ask? It turns out that much to our surprise, the Beaver House actually has really great units. The layouts of the 1BRs that we saw were good, we liked the hardwood floors, and even the oft-panned kitchens were perfectly fine. We like the little built-in murphy offices and thought that many of the features in the apartments made good use of space. In addition, we lust, lust, lust after the enormous tubs (yes, it's sexy to have them open into the bedrooms), a feature that we have not seen in any other development. We also love the in-unit washers and dryers (are you listening 90 William?).

Overall, we think this is a great building. The asking prices however at over $1MM for a 700 sq ft 1 BR are unreasonable bordering on insane way too high for even a nice building in this quiet area of FiDi. We love you though Beave and are curious whether you are going to go the hotel route or the full on rental extravaganza.

115 East 9th Street, Apt 18D - $675,000 - 715 sq ft

"Is it 2006 again?" we wondered as we walked into a full brunch open house, complete with fruit (not ghetto fruit either, we're talking blackberries, blueberries etc.), bagels, coffee and even mimosas! Quite an odd juxtaposition of glamorous brunch food in a decidedly unglamorous 1BR in need of a serious renovation.

This apartment has a pretty typical 1BR layout, with a small (but renovated) galley kitchen and a decent-sized bedroom next to a fairly large living room. The balcony is quite nice in this unit (and much larger than it looks in the Corcoran ad) and the east-facing view is truly spectacular. Unfortunately, the hype ends here, as this parquet-wonderland pretty much requires brand-new everything (floors, doors etc.) including the removal of the huge mirrors in the living room (what, do they shoot So You Think You Can Dance here on the weekends?).

In addition to the free brunch (which was really lost on all two of the skeptical buyers that we saw attend this open house), we were quite surprised at the entourage that the Corcoran agent had with her. In addition to the ubiquitous "I'm just here to learn" sidekick (let's call her "Johnny Drama") who spent the entire time arranging fruit, we were also surprised to meet "Turtle", a Wells Fargo mortgage banker who was happy to discuss our financing needs. After having about enough of this apartment (which by the way, is not priced badly given it's location, size and outdoor space), we were escorted out by Johnny Drama (the co-op rules require an escort which we think is a sign of a pscyho board).

78-80 Leonard - The Tribeca Lofts

We have always been curious about this set of loft buildings located in a cute part of Tribeca near our favorite speakeasy hangout. When we walked in to the completely under construction entrance (45 John anyone?), we thought that we would be whisked right up to some goofy showroom where we would sit through yet another "conversation" about:

- what our needs are (just show us an apartment)
- the lending situation (we know you're flexible on price)
- how it's a great time to buy (we know you're flexible on price)

Instead, much to our amazement, we were told by the doorman to sign a construction waiver and then proceed to the elevator. We were handed a sheet of paper with a bunch of unit #s and prices and...that's it folks. For the next hour, we roamed completely unattended through floor after floor of fascinating old loft units. It was like poking through an old haunted mansion - you never quite knew what you would find behind each door.

Fortunately, in one unit, we actually ran into a Brown Harris Stevens agent, who informed us that The Tribeca Lofts are a "conversion" from rental units to sales (even though the building basically just looks abandoned) and that we can choose to buy units "As Is" (abandoned) or "Finished" (around $300k more). As you can see from the photo of the leaky ceiling (yes that's a garbage can collecting rain water) above, the units are in various states of repair. Despite some leaks, we loved the location here and the units are large and laid out quite well (particularly the enormous lofts on the 5th and 6th floors that really feel like houses). Although we don't think there are any "view" units in these buildings (view choices are a dark ugly building very close to your windows or a dark ugly building further away), the ceilings are magnificent and the windows in some units are truly spectacular.

Unfortunately however, we cannot find a single recorded sale in this building (even though BHS tells us that there were two sales and that occupancy will happen "very soon") and the 9 apartments that are supposedly in contract are also nowhere to be found.

We'll keep our eye on these lofts, which we hope will start selling...otherwise, back to rentals they go (we think).

90 William St (Be@William)

Although we are instinctively turned off by any development that has special characters in the name ("Be@William", are you a .com?), we were certainly attracted to the low price per sq ft of this well-timed conversion in one of our favorite areas of the Financial District. Because sales started here in 2007, this building managed to avoid the fate of our favorite zombie condo 20 Pine and has actually managed to sell most of it's units.

What's left over however, is tough to be @, as we wandered through dark unit after dark unit wishing that some sun would also be @ William. Five of the listed units (and we think actually more than that) are the ominous "H" line, long, dark units in the back of the building with two tiny windows that each face directly on to a soulless neighboring office building. Although they are priced attractively at under $700 per sq ft, we found it hard to imagine ourselves living in what looks like an Ikea showroom, with the same cheap fixtures and warehouse feel.

The white on white kitchen located inconveniently along a wall in the middle of the unit along with the inability to install a W/D (huh?) annoyed us even further. In fact, when we asked the icy cold Corcoran agent about installing a W/D (a standard question for us, particularly in a new conversion), she responded by saying that the 90% of people who already bought units were "happy without one" (whatever).

On the bright side (literally), it looks like there might be some price movement in the few units that actually are liveable here, namely the gorgeous West-facing 2BR, 2BA "A" line. These units face William St. (the only direction in this building where the sun is @) and we note with some level of excitement that one recently sold for just $875,000. While not a bargain, it's a step in the right direction.

120 Greenwich #12F - $679,900 - 700 sq ft. - our very first viewing is in contract.

Nostalgia abounds for us at this smallish 1BR, 1BA condo. Although we never wrote about this listing in one of our least favorite locations in FiDi, it is the first open house that we ever attended here in New York. Back when we saw it, this apartment was listed at the brazen price of $719,000, and the seller's agent at the time told us that there were "multiple offers" on the unit (ha ha).

So it is with some degree of irony that we note that today, this listing has actually entered into contract, somewhere in the neighborhood (we imagine) of it's most recent ask of $679,900.

So what did we think of the unit? Well...it's kind of small and the detached outdoor space is a turn-off. The location is kind of that West St/FiDi netherworld...not quite the heart of FiDi, not quite Battery Park, on an oddly industrial street surrounded by delivery trucks and highway entrances. We liked the pretty arch windows though and the building was converted very recently (2007).

Good luck to the buyers! We will check back and find out how much this place actually sold for.

"As If!" 311 Greenwich #6G - $825,000 - 650 sq ft

We debated whether this cute little apartment in one of the only Tribeca buildings that has listings for under $1MM is really the overpriced apartment of the week, but at $1,269 per sq ft, we just can't imagine such a price even in a renovated unit.

Both the Streeteasy ad and the floorplan loudly proclaim this apartment as a "Miracle on Greenwich Street!", although the only thing that we find miraculous here is that some new floors and a renovated kitchen would actually spur anyone to pay $825k for what is essentially a tiny apartment without a W/D in the unit and a "cute" balcony that is good for nothing growing herbs.

Although the renovations in this super small apartment are very nice and we like the location, we can't get over the unbelievable price tag given that a larger unit in the same building with a real balcony and in need of only new floors and some kitchen cabinets failed to sell at an ask of $775,000 and is now no longer on the market.

#6G sold in 2004 for $640,000, which we think is actually quite a reasonable price now, given the relatively low maintenance and pint-sized square footage. Add in the fact that absolutely nothing has sold in this building since September, 2008 and we're pretty sure that there are some sellers with high expectations here.

The Lilliputian Apartment - 15 Jones St. #6F - $749,000 - around 750 sq ft

"Are we Gulliver? Do we need to lose 20 pounds?" we thought as we bumped into walls, ceilings, a staircase and just about everything else in this tiny, tiny apartment where every square foot is utilized to the fullest.

Although we normally hate duplexes because of the narrow ladders spiral staircases that make them basically unliveable, we were attracted to the outdoor space of #6F and it's prime location on one of our favorite blocks in the West Village. When we entered the apartment, through a tiny narrow hallway, we found ourselves in the small downstairs area which contains the bedroom, the kitchen, and the sole bathroom (positioned awkwardly next to the kitchen). We were told by the sales agent that we could install a D/W in the tiny (but renovated) kitchen, although it looked to us that we would have to remove most of the cabinets in order to do so.

We were very surprised to see a full staircase leading to the upstairs living room, although we did still have to rotate our Gulliver-size bottoms to avoid the A/C unit awkwardly positioned in a window next to the staircase. Upstairs, our feeling of space improved dramatically, with relatively high ceilings, exposed brick and an airy feel to the super-cute living room. The terrace, off of the living room, is also adorable. The only issue we really had with the upstairs was the lack of a bathroom, although the large staircase definitely improves matters, as we can see ourselves, after a couple of beers, making it safely downstairs.

Overall, this apartment is cute and perfect for a 4'10, 90 pound flexible individual living alone. The apartment's almost perfect location and interior charm will probably make up for the fact that it is fundamentally unliveable. If there are still parents out there with cash, we can definitely see this as a starter apartment for a (small) child and we think this place may actually sell in the next few months.

Let's Go See the "Mystery Writer" Apartment!

We were so intrigued by this Curbed article commenting on the listing of Gary Shteyngart's LES apartment that we decided to pop by the New York Times' bestselling author's 1BR located in the Soviet-esque co-op wonderland on the East River about which we have always been curious.

In addition to Gary's apartment, we ended up seeing several 1BRs in this complex, which is actually a Moscow suburb three separate co-op communities . There is the "East River" Coop (close to...well, you get it folks), the Hillman Coop (which is sliiiightly further west), and the much better located Seward community which is priced higher but is somewhat closer to hipster-filled laundromats the subway. Overall, these coop apartments are all attractively priced (listings currently run at around $621 per sq ft but many are priced lower) albeit the apartments themselves are not particularly attractive. Although we did see a couple of renovated units, most units needed a major overhaul (including some really simple basics like cleaning the windows), new floors and appliance updates.

Still, we couldn't help but be drawn into the Cold War aura of these enormous stark buildings and can imagine how the area (maybe in the winter? maybe with fur?) can make you feel part of the landscape of the charming Russian Debutante's Handbook or the wild ride that is Absurdistan.

As far as Gary's actual 1BR, it's quite well-maintained and spartan (duh) although we did enjoy some well-placed Soviet irony such as the picture in the kitchen of a Communist building exterior and a cosmonaut (what?) candy bar.

We also loved peeking into the reading life of Gary Shteyngart (one entire wall of the living room is taken up by books) and are pleased to note that he loves Absurdistan as much as we do, having approximately 10 copies of just that title on his shelves (see the porntastic, "we're just checking our email and not taking photos on our Blackberry" image above). Unfortunately, we were shooed away by the agent before we could find "R" for Russian Debutante's Handbook, but we know it's there somewhere in every language too.

"As If" (The Overpriced Apartment of the Week) 533 East 6th Street, #6 - $849,000 - 1080 sq ft

We thought we were going to see an underpriced wonderland as we wandered toward this apartment on Avenue B last week. After all, we said, Avenue B is far from the subway and still developing a vibe, so $849k for just over 1,000 sq ft seemed like a reasonable price for what looked like a beautifully finished 3BR floor thru apartment.

Instead, we couldn't believe it when we arrived at this unit and discovered (by running around the ground floor and peering into every rectangular shape that looked like it could hold a person) that this place is an fcuking (not the clothing retailer) 6th floor walkup. "Oh why the heck not?" we said as we climbed stair after stair - we've walked all the way to Avenue B, we might as well see the unit.

After finally arriving at the 6th floor, we wiped off our sweaty brows and decided to have a look around as this would undoubtedly be our last visit to this apartment (unless a helipad is being built on the roof deck that is oh so accessible from the 6th floor). What we found was quite fascinating - this place is actually some artist's studio (and boy is that obvious) complete with only 1 BA, an industrial "kitchen" (basically a huge sink to wash your paint in and a fridge) plus no W/D (ummm...are we actually supposed to carry our laundry somewhere?).

Overall, although the floors are nice and there is (sort of) some square footage in this unit, the asking price is completely ridiculous. Maybe if Halstead gave us an airlift into this place, we'd think about seeing it again.

55 Liberty St. #21A - $899,000 - 1250 sq. ft.

This apartment is often compared to the other $899,000 listing at 55 Liberty even though these two apartments have a totally different vibe.

#21A is basically a glorified two BR (yes, there is the ubiquitous fake non-weight bearing wall that cleaves the living room in half) albeit with a good layout and fantastic light. The views are spectacular here and actually better than the attic penthouse unit that is also for sale. Since we can take the elevator all the way to this apartment, we kind of prefer it to the PH anyway. The full-size side-by-side washer and dryer in this unit was also so cool that we even forgot how much closet space it takes up.

On the down side, this apartment pretty much needs a full cosmetic renovation (floors, paint, bathrooms etc.). And what the heck is up with the creepy horseshoe shaped "Eat-In" kitchen, which we didn't even want to step all the way into never mind sit down to "eat-in" anything.

CILF of the Week - 107 Avenue A #3F - $799,000 - 751 sq. ft.

This week's CILF is the charmingly overpriced, fantastically located, beautifully renovated Alphabet City East Village gem of a 1BR, 2BA condo. Although we continue to scratch our heads about exactly why it is necessary to have 2 bathrooms in a 750 square foot space (can't...make...it...one...more...step), we love the renovations in this light-filled apartment in an elevator-building amidst a sea of horrifying walk-ups.

A reasonable maintenance and taxes charge of $861 per month complete the picture in this unit, which is located right next to Tompkins Square Park (it has legitimate park views) on one of the most fun blocks in the East Village. Additionally, the floors look even better in person than in the photo and the kitchen is great.

Is it overpriced? You betcha, but we'd still love to live here.

55 Liberty Street #PH - $899,000 - 1500 sq ft

As this discussion thread on Streeteasy so adequately demonstrates, high maintenance is the word at this beautiful but oh so inaccessible FiDi penthouse. Although the asking price per square foot is quite reasonable, $3314 in monthly maintenance (huh?) on 1500 sq ft is enough to make anyone balk, particularly given that the co-op building housing this apartment is kind of old and not the amenity-filled wonderland that you would expect for $2+ per sq foot of maintenance.

The other big minus is that despite being on the 32nd floor of an elevator building, this PH is actually a walk-up, requiring occupants to take the elevator to the 30th floor and then walk up 2 flights of stairs.

On the plus side, the apartment is quite cool although we are not fans of the attic-like sloped windows that basically obscure the phenomenal view of the old-school eagle statues and plain old gargoyles that sit on top of the roof of this building. The kitchen here is very pretty, has a small window (which we are suckers for) and has a wine fridge. The living room is huge and the bathrooms are both in fantastic (renovated) condition. Plus, we kind of like the vibe from the down-to-earth seller on the Streeteasy thread.

Although we saw this apartment during the day, one of the things that struck us as we entered this building is that our favorite FiDi bar, the venerable Pound and Pence is located right on the second floor (same entrance as the residents). Is this a plus (drinks in your jammies on rainy days)? A minus (rowdy after-work smokers outside of your building's entrance)? We can't decide....

250 Mercer #B602 - $799,000 - 1000 sq. ft.

This has to be one of the strangest buildings that we have seen in a long time. Like the other dorm-like building that we saw last week in the East Village, 250 Mercer also had that multiple elevator bank, huge lobby effect popular with college dorms built in the 1980s. This particular building seems to have some kind of Italian Renaissance theme (ok, think back, when was the last time that you saw a residential building with a theme?) complete with a tacky, Olive Gardenesque painted courtyard with a single plastic wrought iron chair and table in the middle.

Already in the mood for a little freshman year orientation, we found the right elevator bank only to be surprised by a touch of barf in the first elevator that arrived.

Yet again though, we digress. When we got to the actual apartment, we were surprised that we kind of liked it. The ceiling height is great and the apartment (for the most part) is finished, so no major renovations required. The apartment faces the aforementioned inner courtyard, so it's definitely on the dark side, however the high ceilings give it a feeling of more space. Also, as you can see from some of the pics online, this apartment has an enormous old-school column right in the middle of the living area (remember the Italian Renaissance theme?) which could make for some interesting furniture layouts.

Overall, we liked the space and hated the building. There are so many goofy lofts on the market right now in the East Village and this is one of the better ones, in our opinion. It's certainly priced more competitively than the ridiculously laid out loft around the corner that we saw last month.

56 Pine Street, #11F - $685,000 - 756 sq. ft.

We have to admit that we've always had a small crush on 56 Pine. The building has a cool common area, a 421g tax abatement, and does not have the ridiculous financial problems of similarly situated downtown new construction buildings.

We wanted to like this apartment, which we assumed would be selling at somewhat of a discount given it's current status as an "office" for some weird start-up. Although we have heard that buyers are not able to use their imaginations, we never believed it until we walked into this apartment. It was certainly hard to remove the four huge desks in the living room out of our little minds as we tried instead to picture, say a couch and a TV. The bedroom wasn't any easier, as we tried to mentally unclutter away piles of folders and a small chaise lounge.

Overall, this apartment is probably bigger than it feels and seemed like a solid purchase to us. Although $685K is at least near the zip code of something approaching a reasonable price, we think this apartment is far from cheap enough to actually get an offer within say, 20% of the ask.

We still love you 56 Pine and think that you might be one of the few all-owner new construction condos left standing after all of this shakes out.

21 South End Avenue, #227 - $899,000 - 1,050 sq ft

We have to admit that we have never liked the "yacht club" feel of 21 South End Avenue, with the odd wood and blue trim everywhere (including the hallways and the interior of many apartments). The listing for #227 looked really promising however on Streeteasy and as we are HUGE suckers for outdoor space, we were very much looking forward to seeing the enormous balcony/patio, which we thought looked kind of serene in the pictures with Hudson River views.

In reality, this unit is kind of hit or miss. On the "hit" side, we love the real staircase which compares quite favorably to the 1BR with a ladder that we saw two weeks ago in the East Village and the 1BR with a 6 inch chute spiral staircase that we saw around the same time. Additionally, the outdoor space in this unit is quite large (as advertised) and the upstairs bedroom floor fills the entire space so there is no "down to below" hole in this apartment unlike many other duplexes that we've seen.

On the "miss" side, the outdoor space basically looks on to the building across the street and not the Hudson River, which certainly makes it less serene. Also the kitchen is quite small and awkwardly laid out in a nook next to the living room. Everything in the apartment also looks quite dated (we can't tell if it's the yacht club color scheme or something else) and the maintenance/taxes are bordering on unmanageable at almost $2500 per month for essentially 850 sq ft or so of indoor space. Another uh uh for us in BPC - perhaps we should go back to our Battery Park CILF.

176 Broadway #8E - $699,000 - 1225 sq ft

Much confusion abounds regarding this odd 2BR, 2BA listing in FiDi that seems seriously underpriced at only $570 per sq ft. What is this, 2001?

Well it turns out that this listing has many layers of excitement, starting with the fact that originally, #8E was being offered along with the neighboring unit, which is connected by a locked door. When the owner of #8E (and the neighboring unit) decided only to sell #8E, the price of the apartment dropped dramatically. Unfortunately, good old Sotheby's decided to drag their feet on updating the other pieces of the listing and forgot to mention that this apartment (instead of being a 2BR, 2BA) is actually a 1BA studio.

In case you are confused about this, Sotheby's actually offered us an imaginary ideal floorplan of the apartment indicating what it "could look like" were it to actually be the apartment that we thought we were going to see.

After getting over the intial shock and the Sotheby's shenanigans, we proceeded to view this studio, which is well-maintained but is really just an enormous living room and a mirrored dining area. The kitchen is updated but the apartment has a very 1940s sort of feel to it, with gilded/mirrored everything. Even the sub-zero had some kind of surface that we're pretty sure parties like it's 1945 when no one is looking.

When we asked about a W/D in the unit, we had the following conversation with Sotheby's:

Downtowny: Is there a W/D in the unit?
Crazy Sotheby's broker: No, but there's a dryer on this floor...but no washer.
Downtowny: (biting tongue) So...are there floors that have washers but no dryers?
Crazy Sotheby's broker: Yes.