Don't Mess With Taxes: An Open Letter to Our Neighborhood Cafe, Pan Latin

Dear Pan Latin:

You are our neighborhood cafe in Battery Park City. You help the residents of North Battery Park buildings such as The Riverhouse stay mostly full and vaguely intoxicated by serving 15 flavors of empanadas and big glasses of chilled white wine. You are located on a cute corner of Chambers and River Terrace, where we can peacefully sit outside and smoke when you aren't looking, watching our neighbors pass by and looking at the Hudson River across the street. You are on "our side" of the West Side Highway, allowing us to come to you coatless in the winter and in our least comfortable shoes in the summer. You are an invaluable alternative to the only other eating establishment in our area: Terry's Deli, a friendly place where we can have a lunch of 20 year old lemon loaf and a pack of Marlboro's for only $20.

Yesterday therefore, we wrung our hands with worry as we read in the Battery Park City Broadsheet that you are having trouble paying your taxes and that you were recently padlocked over the fourth of July weekend. Why aren't you able to drum up enough business Pan Latin? After all, you have a virtual monopoly in this area, unless of course Terry's steps it up with some more Baked Lay's flavors and replaces those "salad bar" veggies from 1995. Luckily for you Pan Latin, we have some thoughts here at Downtowny and are proud to bring you our Top 5 Ideas For How You Can Improve, Muy Bien:

5. Have a Happy Hour for fuck's sake. We love the charming outside atmosphere (even inside isn't too bad) and would love to waste every evening casually sipping on wine and chatting with neighbors. What prevents us from doing that? Oh let's see...how about wine at $9 per glass. Ouch. For a neighborhood joint (which should be relying on boozy residents too lazy to cross the West Side Highway for a fix), you need to lower your prices on alcohol. At least in the evenings. Maybe just for area residents. You decide.

4. Retrain the space cadet waiters. Why do we have to wave our arms vigorously and make faces everytime we need some service? Why is the wait staff always crowded around the cash register inside or perpetually servicing the ice cold drinks machine?

3. Stay open later. At least until, oh we don't know, 10PM?

2. Bring back the little white sauce that comes with the chicken platter.

1. Help us navigate your menu! Let's see some specials, a little sidewalk sandwich board, or anything else that will help us figure out exactly what you serve here and why it's special. Give us a "soup and empanada" for $5.99 or something that will go oh so well at that Happy Hour...