115 East 9th Street, Apt 18D - $675,000 - 715 sq ft

"Is it 2006 again?" we wondered as we walked into a full brunch open house, complete with fruit (not ghetto fruit either, we're talking blackberries, blueberries etc.), bagels, coffee and even mimosas! Quite an odd juxtaposition of glamorous brunch food in a decidedly unglamorous 1BR in need of a serious renovation.

This apartment has a pretty typical 1BR layout, with a small (but renovated) galley kitchen and a decent-sized bedroom next to a fairly large living room. The balcony is quite nice in this unit (and much larger than it looks in the Corcoran ad) and the east-facing view is truly spectacular. Unfortunately, the hype ends here, as this parquet-wonderland pretty much requires brand-new everything (floors, doors etc.) including the removal of the huge mirrors in the living room (what, do they shoot So You Think You Can Dance here on the weekends?).

In addition to the free brunch (which was really lost on all two of the skeptical buyers that we saw attend this open house), we were quite surprised at the entourage that the Corcoran agent had with her. In addition to the ubiquitous "I'm just here to learn" sidekick (let's call her "Johnny Drama") who spent the entire time arranging fruit, we were also surprised to meet "Turtle", a Wells Fargo mortgage banker who was happy to discuss our financing needs. After having about enough of this apartment (which by the way, is not priced badly given it's location, size and outdoor space), we were escorted out by Johnny Drama (the co-op rules require an escort which we think is a sign of a pscyho board).

111 4th Avenue, #6J - $695,000 - Unknown

This apartment looks really great doesn't it? If you look at the listing on Streeteasy.com and click-through the out of focus photos to the listing on the corcoran website, you find yourself saying "$695k? what's the catch?"

It turns out that while this apartment does have very nice floors, the living room is shockingly small with (yet again), the ubiquitous obnoxious loft placed strategically to obstruct any feeling of space.

The downstairs bedroom is painted a strange eggshell blue (think a playhouse for the Easter Bunny) and has maybe 6' ceilings. The upstairs loft is accessible by a ladder (that's right, a ladder) and can be used for...closet space.

On the bright side, the maintenance is kind of low and there is a W/D on the floor, although all of the "escorting" by the realtor from open house to open house tells me that the board in this building is probably insane.