753 East 5th Street, #4B - $850,000 - 750 sq ft

"Is Avenue D still ghetto fabulous without the 'fabulous'?", we kept asking ourselves as we walked and walked and walked to this apartment on 5th street and Avenue D. The answer (in case you haven't been to Alphabet City in awhile) is "um...yes" as we discovered while walking past housing projects and sketchy parks on our way to this super weird 3-year old luxury condo building in the middle of a ghetto fringe.

Oh, well we thought - at $850,000, this place will probably be magnificent because of it's subprime location on Avenue D. Instead, we were surprised to find yet another (welcome to Alphabet City) 4th floor walkup (5th floor if you count the stairs in the apartment leading to the bedroom/TV area) that was very, very small for the price (750 sq feet - are you kidding us?). There is a well-constructed loft which currently serves as a second living room, a tiny living room on the first floor and a bedroom on the first floor as well. There is no W/D in this unit, although it does get good light and is overall super cute.

We went up to see the common roof deck as well (what the heck, we said, only one more flight of stairs) which was...about the size of a large terrace. Truly underwhelming - this place was a big contender for our "As if!" award for overpriced apartment of the week, however it was just edged out by the nutso seller over on Pearl.

99 Avenue B, #PHBC - $799,000 - 750 sq ft

Why is it so darn hot in this building? We kept wondering as we saw our second listing in this co-op where either the heat was cranked up (is Corcoran really that nuts? we don't think so) or there is some kind of issue that would require us to run the A/C or open all windows on a 45 degree day.

This apartment is definitely cool - a long hallway with a bedroom leading to an open kitchen connected to a big "lofty" living area. We were vaguely put off however by the two types of bars (huh?) on the living room windows, which look out on the large, extensive fire escape. No W/D (or possibility of) in the unit is also a minus considering that the building's W/Ds are downstairs in the creepy basement to which the elevator does not go.

The outdoor space for this unit however is spectacular (although disconnected - you have to exit the apartment and walk up a flight of stairs) in a Berkeley, CA kind of way. Cute little sloped wooden individual "plots" of outdoor space plus one common area (see the "well" post earlier).

Overall, a cute place but still overpriced.